I’ll just cut right to the chase. 2015 pretty much kicked my butt. It started out with so much promise, but there was a bumpy road to Canaan Land. In a lot of ways I felt like I pretty much couldn’t catch a break. Right about the time I thought, “OK, I can do this!” something else would happen to knock me off my feet. To deal with everything life threw at me in 2015 I would either have to start a lot of day-time drinking or learn to sit at the feet of Jesus. Being that I found out in April that I was pregnant, that decision was made for me. Sit at the feet of Jesus. A lot. Even when you can’t feel His presence. Even when you wonder if anyone is listening.
This year was difficult. It was an uphill climb. It was a marathon and not a sprint for sure.
But, Jesus was good. My lifeline was Adoration. Just sitting there, sometimes in a puddle of tears, in front of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. The sweetness of that moment cannot be measured. The things Jesus whispers into my soul in those moments when I feel the most unworthy and like the world’s biggest screw-up as a mother and wife and biggest faker as a writer. Those words of acceptance and grace and truth. The value of those moments in Adoration cannot be measured. Cannot. Be. Measured.
Not only was Jesus good, people were good. Friends went above and beyond the call of duty and showed such tender love to our family. Sometimes a well-timed card in the mail, sometimes a listening ear as we poured out our guts, sometimes practical help with things like packing, moving, building or childcare. There are far too many people and too many things to mention. Suffice it to say, we are grateful beyond our abilities to articulate.
I am more than ready to celebrate a New Year and look ahead to the good things to come. A brief look back is sometimes a good idea, though. These were our family’s New Year’s Resolutions last year:
Mine was “Hold Onto The Good.” And although put to the test, there was much good.
- Adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament
- Learning to be a daughter of Mother Mary
- A healthy pregnancy and birth of our 7th son (9th child)
- My mother-in-law came to live with us and the children got precious time with her before she passed away
- Settled in our home and farm in Maine
- A garden that was abundant and a cow that gives us lots of creamy milk
- I learned to can and put up food for winter
- I learned (or am learning) to let go of perfectionism and embrace the messy of life, even when it means being vulnerable
Hold onto the good….
It’s a good motto for any year, but especially a year that holds lots of changes and its share of turbulence. Hold onto what is good. Don’t let go of truth and beauty in the midst of tossing out the undesirables. I hope we can all learn to do that. Let’s hold onto what is good, believe the best in one another and hang onto what is true.
Every year our New Year’s tradition is this: We bake chocolate chip cookies. We eat one right before midnight and one right after. ‘Cause any year that begins and ends with a chocolate chip cookie can’t be all bad. Hold onto the good.