Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

0

Agalliao! (Marriage is worth it.)

Blog | Relationships No Comments

[This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. The Provision Room is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.]

This Is Marriage

Remember when Gene Kelly was singing and dancing in the rain, so in love?

Or how about a real life example: remember when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch because he was so in love and just couldn’t contain himself?

OK, a less annoying example? St. Francis of Assisi, so overcome with Divine Love, he would rush about through the garden, the church, the village, as if drunk, proclaiming God’s love! So in love he was mistaken for drunk!

Does marriage feel like that for you? Let’s be honest–most days, no. Sure, marriage has its fantastic moments, but on regular days…..well, it’s just regular. Read More

This Is Marriage

[This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. The Provision Room is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.] Remember when Gene Kelly was singing and dancing in the rain, so in love? Or […]

8

On the 12 DATES of Christmas, my true love gave to me….(Romance for Real Couples)

Relationships 8 Comments

12 Dates of Christmas

Every once in a while our husbands get crazy romantic and do romantic-comedy-perfect things. Like the time Daja’s husband whisked her off in a convertible so she could fulfill a childhood dream to walk across the Golden Gate bridge.  Or the time that Kristina’s husband bought her candles for their bedroom.  A simple little thing really, but perfect because they came from him.

But, let’s be honest. Most of the time we live in the real world. You know that space you live in between running errands, folding laundry, and trying to deal with workplace relationships.  The holidays add their own interesting flavor as you have conversations about what in the world to buy your dads, how the Christmas lights got so tangled and getting the right picture for the family Christmas card.

But, we believe that the holidays can also add their own magical sort of romance. The beauty of the every-day kind of romance. That sweetness that weaves itself between all the hustle and bustle and makes us grateful to be married.  Budgets are tight sometimes, so we thought we’d put together a little list of romantic ideas for this holiday season that are both affordable and practical. Romance for real couples. Enjoy!

Date Number 1: Fireside

Build a fire, either in the fireplace or outside. Prepare a very special holiday drink (mulled wine, hot buttered rum, a real pumpkin spice latte, etc.) and put the kids to bed early.  Talk about your favorite holiday memories from your years together.  Be careful…the memories might start leaking out your eyes and pouring down your cheeks.

Date Number 2: Unshopping

Go out to the mall or shopping center. Each of you take a very small sum of money (say $5 or so). Split up and pick out a funny or romantic gift for the other one. Set a time limit. Meet up at a bookstore with a coffee shop.  Exchange gifts, laugh, get a snack together.  My husband and I also love to frequent bookstores, get a stack of magazines and just leaf through them, dreaming. Don’t buy anything!!!  Just allow yourself to fantasize(!) about your dream vacation together or dream house or family business or retirement. You don’t need to spend any money to get to know your loved one better flipping through glossy magazines.

Date Number 3: Stay In Bed

This may take a little planning. Ask Grandma and Grandpa to take the kids for 24 hours. Get a stack of holiday movies, snacks and junk food, cute pajamas, card games, etc. And just stay in bed. Have no agenda, no preconceived ideas. Just hang out together all day, in bed. That togetherness is its own reward.  And in all the craziness of the holidays, just taking that break to rest can help to restore communication and intimacy.

Romantic Holiday Ideas

This blend brought to you by FoodLaughterLove!

Date Number 4: Be Kids Again

Cookie decorating, gingerbread house making, crafts….Why do the kids get to have all the fun? Do some of these fun things with your honey…without the children! Seriously, not that it isn’t a blast to clean frosting out of your hair or say “stop eating that!” a million times in the span of two minutes.  But, imagine the fun, if the kids are in bed and you and your sweetie have a glass of wine, decorating or craft supplies, and time to get creative!

Date Number 5:  Wrapping Party

Too many gifts to wrap with too little time?  Send the kids to bed, make a lovely winter cocktail, and wrap those gifts together.  It’s a good opportunity for Dad to see what the gifts are before the kids open them on Christmas morning!  **Wink, Wink**  Not to mention it’s just a lovely time of laughter and fun as you tease one another about wrapping skills or lack of wrapping skills.

Date Number 6:  Go For A Walk

Make a couple of hot chocolates or coffees in to-go mugs and head off for a quiet walk.  Just being outside, listening to the birds in the trees and seeing all the beauty God has created can dramatically reduce your holiday stress levels.  Don’t forget to hold hands!!

Date Number 7: Give Back

There are tons of charities this time of year and they could sure use an extra hand! Why not volunteer to be a bell-ringing for the Salvation Army or serve food at a local soup kitchen. Go on a special shopping trip together and pick out holiday foods for a local family who maybe has fallen on hard times.  Leave the bags on their doorstep and ding-dong-ditch!  Serving others together can be a wonderful way to bring the two of you together.

 Date Number 8: The Virtual Double Date

You know that couple that was your favorite double date? Your besties that you actually BOTH liked? Come on, we know we aren’t the only ones. Sometimes you like her, but your husband doesn’t like him or vice versa.  But you finally found that couple that you connected with and could not wait for your dinner dates, picnics or card games! It was sweet, sweet fellowship. And then life played a cruel joke and moved you or them to the other side of the country or the world. Despair not! We live in the era of Skype and FaceTime! Plan a time when the four of you can all sit down on Skype. Make something delicious to munch and open up a bottle of wine.  And have a virtual double date!

Date Number 9: Chopped

Create an interesting basket of odd ingredients a’la chopped. Make sure you include some holiday themed ingredients (cinnamon, candy canes, etc.). You make a box for him. He makes a box for you. (Or have your kids prepare BOTH boxes the same and you don’t get to know what’s going in!) Have a little chopped competition, preparing a dish for each other. Let your kids be the judges!  Make sure you take lots of pictures of the process. That stuff is gold, baby!

Date Number 10: Secondhand Christmas Shopping

Get up a bit earlier on a Saturday morning. Do some Christmas shopping–but the catch is you can’t go to the mall or Target. You must stick to yard sales, flea markets, antique stores, thrift store and consignment shops! You’ll have fun together and can pat yourself on the back for being a conscientious consumer this holiday season.

Date Number 11: Play In the Snow

OK, so if you live in Southern California (like Kristina) you may have to drive to the snow.  But, if you live in Maine (like Daja) you have more than enough to work with!  Why should the kids have all the snow days! How about ice skating, skiing or sledding for two? So much fun!

Date Number 12: Let There Be Light!

This time of year lends itself to romantic lighting. Whether you stroll hand-in-hand late at night down a decorated street or take a drive down a Christmas Tree Lane to take in all the twinkle or, better yet, lay on your own living room floor and gaze up at the tree, let the holiday lights work their romantic magic!

ROMANTIC BONUS:

Rebecca over at FoodLaughterLove is our essential oil guru. Her blends are foolproof. Try these as you stir up a little holiday romance! Oooooooo, la, la!

Romantic Holiday Ideas

VISIT FOODLAUGHTERLOVE on Etsy! Some fantastic Christmas gifts there, just waiting to be scooped up!

12 Dates of Christmas

Every once in a while our husbands get crazy romantic and do romantic-comedy-perfect things. Like the time Daja’s husband whisked her off in a convertible so she could fulfill a childhood dream to walk across the Golden Gate bridge.  Or the time that Kristina’s husband bought her candles for their bedroom.  A simple little thing […]

4

Preparing For Marriage

Blog | Relationships 4 Comments

[This post contains Amazon affiliate links. The Provision Room is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.]

This Is Marriage

When “experts” talk about being ready for marriage or when two people who have been dating for a while talk about being “ready” for marriage there are some typical talking points: finishing college, paying off car/student/business loans, getting a better job/promotions, buying a home, etc.

Then there is real life. Daja’s husband went back to school when they had five children!  Her family has moved once to Mongolia, back to California, and then across the country to Maine!  Kristina completely changed professions after she got married.  Her husband switched companies.  They have moved from one coast to another and back again.  This is life.  No one is ever “ready” for these changes.  No one is ever prepared for suddenly feeling the call of God to go on an overseas mission field or to adopt a baby or sell their home or take a massive leap of faith and change jobs.  But it happens ALL THE TIME!  Instead of focusing so much on those rather external things, we feel like there is a better way to Prepare for Marriage. There are more eternal things to consider.  Marriages can survive a lot of rockiness and changes and surprises, provided you get the first things first and have a true foundation.

Spiritual Factors:

Do you and your potential spouse share the same basic faith?  Of course, it may be unrealistic to agree on every single point of every single factor of religious life.  But at the core, do you agree on the foundational things? Will you be able to raise your children in one accord?

Do the two of you have a vibrant friendship with Jesus?  Let me tell you, you can be a much better friend to your spouse once you are walking in true friendship with Jesus.

How do you and your potential spouse handle suffering?  Perhaps you’ve already been through the fire together and you know.  But, perhaps your biggest suffering was before you met.  Ask your significant other how he or she handles suffering and what is the biggest suffering they have been through.

 “Those who do suffer well are a well-spring of life and faith. Who do you want holding your hand when the test says “cancer?”  On whose shoulder do you want to lean when the doctor says, “We’ve done all we can?” With whom do you want to lay beside when you don’t know where your child is or if they will ever come home?  When your world turns upside down, in whose eyes do you want to look? Find someone who suffers well.” (Kevin Thompson)

Practical Factors: 

How does your loved one handle money?  Regardless of your answer to this, it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. We can all learn to do better with our money.  But, eyes wide open, k?  Is he or she a spender?  Are they generous?  Do they know how to save?  Do they rely on credit cards?  Find out ahead of time.  Balancing a checkbook is no fun by yourself. With a spouse it doesn’t get any easier, let me tell you!

How are your practical life skills coming along?  Nothing thrusts you into the real world like a backed-up toilet, a flat tire in the rain, or trying to make a fancy dinner for your husband’s boss!  Here are some very adulty things one or both of you should be skilled at doing before you get married:

  • Basic cooking skills. And by this we mean frugal cooking from scratch.  NOT opening up some boxes and cans or microwaving frozen meals.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  But can you roast a chicken, use the bones to make a broth, turn that broth into a simple nourishing soup? Can you make decent breakfast (coffee, eggs, bacon, muffins) without hitting the Starbucks?
  • Financial skills. Can you balance your checkbook?  Handle online bill-paying?  Interact with customer service people?  File your own taxes?  Read and understand your own investment paperwork?
  • Home repairs. OK, so every man is not Mr. Fix-it.  That’s OK.  But, a few basic skills can make a world of difference at 2am on a holiday weekend.  This is not when you want to try to find a plumber or handyman!  Unclog a sink?  Replace a wax ring on a toilet?  Put together IKEA furniture?
  • Basic car maintenance and repair.  Again, we don’t need to marry a total gear-head.  But, can either of you change a tire?  Change the oil?  Put on chains?  Set the time on the dashboard clock?

Marriage

One of the Most Important Things

Perhaps you have heard the phrase “staying pure until you are married.”  Although, we understand what the speaker means, we really dislike this phrase.  It give the impression that only purity is necessary before the wedding and only passion afterwards.  And that cannot be further from the truth!  Purity is so much more than abstinence.  Purity is a condition of the soul and is crucial for ever stage of a relationship.

One of the most important things anyone can do to prepare for marriage (and teach this to our children) is to pursue holiness.  Marriage is a school of sanctification.  Marriage takes a purity of heart and intentions, love and compassion, chastity, and a daily laying down of your life and taking up your cross.

To prepare for marriage, we suggest:

  • Keeping a reign on your thought life
  • Making prayer and contemplation a regular part of your everyday life
  • Become intimate with the Scriptures
  • Get to know holy men and women (both on earth and those in heaven)
  • Make accountability a regular part of your life (via the Sacrament of Confession, deep friendships, mentoring relationships, inner healing, Sozo, etc.)

So, tell us, what advice would you give to a young couple contemplating marriage?  How can they be better prepared?

This Is Marriage

[This post contains Amazon affiliate links. The Provision Room is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.] When “experts” talk about being ready for marriage or when two people who have been dating […]

3

Religion vs. Relationship? Do I have to choose?

Blog | Relationships 3 Comments

If you’re a regular reader around The Provision Room, you may have noticed something in the last year or two.  We have become more and more unabashedly religious.  Maybe it started subtle, but now you can hardly miss it.  We talk about liturgical living, the Church calendar, feast days, fasts, rituals and traditions a lot.  And maybe you’re cool with that.  And maybe you think we have gone off the deep end.  ~Because we love and value you, our sweet and faithful readers, we feel like we need to break that down and make it plain.  Yes, we are religious.  We are not afraid to say so.

Religion vs Spirituality Read More

Religion vs Spirituality

If you’re a regular reader around The Provision Room, you may have noticed something in the last year or two.  We have become more and more unabashedly religious.  Maybe it started subtle, but now you can hardly miss it.  We talk about liturgical living, the Church calendar, feast days, fasts, rituals and traditions a lot. […]

3

What is This Thing Called Marriage?

Relationships 3 Comments

This Is Marriage

Kristina and Jordan have been married almost 22 years.  Daja and Gana have been married 15 years.  And we still think marriage is a good idea. #imaginethat #notdoneyet

Our parents and grandparents have all had long, successful marriages and left us great examples of people who stick with it, who talk up marriage and believe in the covenant.  That’s not to say that marriage has come easy.  Marriage, no matter whether it was a match made in heaven, has to be lived out on earth.  In the day-in-day-out.  Marriage is in the nitty-gritty.  Some people say marriage is crazy hard.  We prefer to say it is sanctifying.

We have written a good deal about parenting on this blog, but not as much about marriage.  So, we are starting a new series, celebrating this breathtakingly beautiful and sanctifying sacrament called marriage.

Marriage is God’s idea.  Have you been led to believe that marriage is just a modern social construct?  No way. Marriage, from the very beginning was God’s idea.  “The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes.”  (CCC 1603)  “God who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love.  Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator’s eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'” (CCC 1604)

Marriage is to be in the Lord.  Pondering the wedding at Cana, we see Jesus on the threshold of his public ministry and offering us his first miraculous sign.  Have you ever wondered why Jesus chose (or did Mary choose?) this context for His first miracle and the launching of His public ministry?  The very fact that Jesus and Mary are at this wedding shows the significance and importance of marriage.  By Jesus’ presence at this wedding, we can see Christ’s goodness and His presence in all Christ-centered marriages.

Daja & Gana

Marriage is for the good of the spouses.  Someone recently sought our counsel about a relationship she was having with someone who didn’t share her same faith or values.  I reminded her that one of the purposes of marriage was to help your spouse make it to heaven.  She said, “What? I have never heard that! I think his faith is his business and my faith is mine. I won’t take responsibility for that!”  And it made us sad.  For them marriage was solely for personal satisfaction and not for the good of the other.  But that is not marriage’s highest ideal! True love is to live for another and to help that person present their best self to Jesus on the final day.

Marriage was not instituted for wantonness or fornication, but for chastity. Listen to what Paul says: “Because of the temptation of immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her husband.” There are two purposes for which marriage was instituted: to make us chaster, and to make us parents. Of these two, the reason of chastity takes precedence. (St. John Chrysostom’s Sermon on Marriage)

Kristy & Jordan wine tasting

Marriage is understood through fidelity.  This is commitment between a man and a wife.  We are called to “drink water from our own cistern, running water from our own well.”  Stay in one place.  Stay faithful being contented with what you already have been given and do not go out to find satisfaction elsewhere.  (It is clear that infidelity is celebrated in our culture.  There is an entire industry dedicated to helping spouses cheat on one another.  The enemy entices through words, images, and sounds meant to cause separation and hunger for things not our own.)  In this constant bombardment how do we stay faithful?  Jesus came “to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing [ourselves], and taking up [our] crosses that spouses will be able to “receive” the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ.  This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ’s cross, the source of all Christian life.” (CCC 1615)

Marriage is essential for the good of society. In St. John Chrysostom’s Sermon on Marriage we read, “The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together. Men will take up arms and even sacrifice their lives for the sake of this love. St. Paul would not speak so earnestly about this subject without serious reason; why else would he say, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord?” Because when harmony prevails, the children are raised well, the household is kept in order, and neighbors, friends, and relatives praise the result. Great benefits, both of families and states, are thus produced. When it is otherwise, however, everything is thrown into confusion and turned upside-down.”

Marriage is good for society

Marriage is be marked by passion.  Sexual fulfillment IS possible within the bounds of marriage.  (And dare we say it is impossible outside the bounds of marriage?) This is what God built.  Sexual intimacy is indeed for procreation, however, enjoying the body of your spouse is for pleasure and passion.  Remember when you first got married and you gave yourself to each other those feelings of love and passion?  That is a gift of Biblical marriage.  It’s not just a contract.  It is a covenant and we have a mandate on us to be the kind of people who are passionate to our spouse.  “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”  (Prov 5 18:19)  We must remember the early days and allow them to define every day.  This is not the world’s narrative for marriage; this is our narrative! (Can we get an Amen?!)  Truly the message in the world is that pleasure only happens outside of Jesus’ family.  As follower’s of Jesus, included in the very way God designed marriage, we have a command to be intoxicated with our spouse!  We have a command to be desperately in love with our spouse!

Marriage is to be at the service of life.  We think the catechism just sums this up perfectly!  “Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: “It is not good that man should be alone,” and “from the beginning [he] made them male and female”; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: “Be fruitful and multiply.” Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.”  (CCC 1652)

Daja7-2

Perhaps, reading this, your heart says “Yes!” but your circumstances say, “This isn’t my reality.”  We pray for the healing of your marriage and God’s beautiful sanctifying grace in the center of it.

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!…

I will not give up, give in, give out or give over ’til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words… in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad…so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down ’til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous… nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing, nor will I seek to lower God’s standard, twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word, violate God’s covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God’s faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up ’til my marriage is healed.

– Author Unknown

 

This Is Marriage

Kristina and Jordan have been married almost 22 years.  Daja and Gana have been married 15 years.  And we still think marriage is a good idea. #imaginethat #notdoneyet Our parents and grandparents have all had long, successful marriages and left us great examples of people who stick with it, who talk up marriage and believe […]

1

Prayer for the Week of August 3 — Pray For Your Spouse’s Faith

Prayer Closet | Relationships 1 Comment

I sense that many of our readers struggle as they work out their faith (with fear and trembling) and allowing their spouse to do the same.  Some of you may longingly wish that you had a spouse who did family devotions or attended church with you, but your spouse may seem to be on an entirely different page in regards to faith.

Prayers Ascending

Read More

Prayers Ascending

I sense that many of our readers struggle as they work out their faith (with fear and trembling) and allowing their spouse to do the same.  Some of you may longingly wish that you had a spouse who did family devotions or attended church with you, but your spouse may seem to be on an […]

0

Prayer for the Week Apr 6 – Loving Well

Prayer Closet | Relationships No Comments

Image

Every married couple has experienced distance in their marriage.  It’s not a matter of will it come, but when will it be here.  Life encroaches on our relationship and the enemy attacks marriage and family every single day; we’re out-numbered.  As I was reading my devotions this morning the Lord lovingly reminded me of the wisdom of Saint John Paul II, one of the great guardians of marriage and family.

This morning I want to share a couple of scriptures and prayers from my devotional.  May these prayers strengthen you for the journey this week.

~Mathew 19:4-6

[Jesus] said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

Loving Father, I want to love you more and better through my love for my husband.  Let me see opportunities to become one with you by serving him.

~Genesis 2:23-24

The man said:  “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of ‘her man’ this one has been taken.”  That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of the become one body.

In those time when I feel distant from my partner, help me to cling to him.  May our love be united even when we feel the challenges of the world pulling us apart physically and emotionally.

Kristy Wedding pic

Every married couple has experienced distance in their marriage.  It’s not a matter of will it come, but when will it be here.  Life encroaches on our relationship and the enemy attacks marriage and family every single day; we’re out-numbered.  As I was reading my devotions this morning the Lord lovingly reminded me of the […]

1

10 Movies More Romantic Than 50 Shades! (Plus some creative date ideas!!!)

Blog | Relationships 1 Comment

I know we are not alone in the conviction that there is nothing romantic about abuse, domination, and lack of respect for human dignity. Dehumanizing violence is not a good theme for Valentine’s Day (a holiday named after a great saint who stood for marriage and true love, even to the point of death).

10 Movies More Romantic Than 50 Shades!

The annual Valentine’s Day French Dinner!

We will most certainly not be seeing the depraved film being billed as a romance this weekend. No Grey, No way!  We hope you will join us in celebrating REAL romance this weekend! Here are our suggestions for movies you could watch with your sweetheart this Valentine’s Weekend!

1. Happythankyoumoreplease

Oh my word. This movie is the best movie no one ever saw.  We have watched it more times than we can count and every time we fall in love with it again.  Check out this scene (and if you don’t hear Jesus saying this speech to you, listen to it again!) and then rent the movie on Valentine’s Day!  This is how a man woos a woman and affirms her worth and dignity! This movie is just quirky and fun, has a great sound track and reveals so much about the meaning of love.

2. Ever After – A Cinderella Story

A girl who is strong, knows her mind and gets the prince in the end!

3. An Affair To Remember

This is probably the most romantic and heart-wrenching movie ever! It’s classy and timeless and if you aren’t weeping by the end, check your pulse.

4. Braveheart

Love. It’s not about bondage and domination. Love is about freedom!

5. Sense & Sensibility

Poor Marianne has to learn the hard way, but in the end is able to discern the User from the Lover. And seriously, how is the English countryside not romantic! SWOON!

6. Pride & Prejudice

Classic! And we are partial to the BBC version. It’s rather long, yes. But, if you are sipping tea and eating scones (or drinking wine and eating cheese!) it flies by!

7. The Vow

True love–it’s a commitment to vows no matter what. Love is not just a feeling, it’s a determination and commitment to behave in a loving way. This is based on a true story and it makes you stand in awe.

8.The Notebook

Daja: Having watched my grandmother stand by my grandfather through the slow painful process of dementia, until he went to be with Jesus, I have a soft spot in my heart for this movie.  Two people, in it for the long haul. May we all be blessed with such a love story.

9. The Princess Bride

“Love, true love, is what brings us together today.”  (If you just read that in the minister’s voice, you’re a true fan, as we are!)  This is a great movie for the whole family to enjoy on Valentine’s Day!

10.The Holiday

Sometimes love takes us by surprise and we find it in the most unexpected places. We love this movie (especially the Santa Ana winds…..We are So Cal girls after all…)

Romantic Date Ideas For Real People:

You might think us strange, but we just don’t like going out on Valentine’s Day! It’s crowded. It’s expensive. There are set menus at most restaurants. And those menus are rather cliche. It’s just not our style. Here are some ideas for dates that are fun and romantic and won’t break the bank!

  • Why not watch your wedding video? Pop some champagne, get some strawberries and chocolate, snuggle up on the couch and relive that special day! You could even buy a cake and reenact the cake cutting and cake-feeding (with or without the shoving it in each other’s face!).
  • This is our third year having a French Dinner. Daja and her husband, Kristina and her husband, and two other couples. We make a 6 course meal–from the apertif to the digestif! One of us hosts it in our home with full place settings and candlelight! One gentleman plays the accordion and we drink a lot of wine and take our time. It’s romantic and fun. And beats going out to a crowded, busy restaurant surrounded by strangers hands down!
  • Pack a picnic and go watch the sunset from a beautiful location.
  • Put the kids to bed early or better yet let them have a sleep-over at Grandma’s.  Then light a fire in the fireplace and light some candles and turn off all the lights and unplug your phones and computers.  Pretend there is a power outage and enjoy the quiet!

Just remember, it doesn’t have to cost a lot or look fancy to be a date that speaks love to your spouse.  Just. speak. love.

(This post contains affiliate links. Any money made from affiliate links supports this blog….and helps us to buy more books.)

 

10 Movies More Romantic Than 50 Shades!

I know we are not alone in the conviction that there is nothing romantic about abuse, domination, and lack of respect for human dignity. Dehumanizing violence is not a good theme for Valentine’s Day (a holiday named after a great saint who stood for marriage and true love, even to the point of death). We […]

3

Prayer for the Week of September 7 — “God’s grace gave us an easy journey”

Prayer Closet | Relationships 3 Comments

We have been working away on our land and little homestead.  There’s much to do.  And true to His word, God has sent us help.  One of our helpers has been John, an elderly man, friend-of-a-friend who has sort of adopted us.  He shows up in the morning, bearing fruit or corn or a perfect piece of furniture he picked up at a yard sale.  And he jumps in and starts working.

IMG_7502[1]

Today we chatted before the work started.  He said, “I sure wish you folks could have met my wife.  She would have loved you all.”

I asked his wife’s name and when she passed away.  “Her name is Theola.  And she’s been gone four years last April.”

“That’s a lovely name.”

“She was lovely.  She got Alzheimer’s.  But, God’s grace gave us an easy journey. She’s gone home.”

“I sure wish we could have met her already.  But I have no doubt we will.”

“Yes you will.  She was the sweetest and most soft spoken woman. But she fiercely did not want to end up in a nursing home. So, I promised her that as long as I was able, I would keep her in our home. And I kept my promise.  Her one prayer was to die in our home.  And my one prayer was for her to die in my arms.  God answered both our prayers.”

He went on, “You know, some people were upset with me that I didn’t go to pieces when she passed away.  But how could I? God had been so good to us.”

Through my tears, this morning, I prayer, “Lord, may we have the revelation of your grace to see all things from Your hands as good.  May we trust You in all things and lean ever more into Your heart. And God, give us a love for our spouses that transcends our culture, our circumstances, our day-to-day trials. May we pass along this love to our children. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.”

 

 

 

IMG_7502[1]

We have been working away on our land and little homestead.  There’s much to do.  And true to His word, God has sent us help.  One of our helpers has been John, an elderly man, friend-of-a-friend who has sort of adopted us.  He shows up in the morning, bearing fruit or corn or a perfect […]

3

Happily Incompatible

Blog | Relationships 3 Comments

After hearing how my husband and I met (which is a long crazy story) a new friend asked, “And you guys just match? You fit each other so well?” (You see, we come from two completely different cultures and upbringing.)

The automatic answer was “Sure!” However, I got to thinking about it later. I don’t think that’s the whole truth. We don’t necessarily match.

Happily Incompatible

Happy 14th Anniversary, Honey!

Read More

Happily Incompatible

After hearing how my husband and I met (which is a long crazy story) a new friend asked, “And you guys just match? You fit each other so well?” (You see, we come from two completely different cultures and upbringing.) The automatic answer was “Sure!” However, I got to thinking about it later. I don’t think that’s […]